just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
