hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize
