This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
My penis needs a shock collar
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
