guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
