He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
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