im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
