8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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