The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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