I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
