Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
