Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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