My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize