they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
When are your genitals available?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
