Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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