Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
