I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
