i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
