You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
