this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize