sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
