i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
