They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
i believe in u and ur pee
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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