where does the pee come out of this thing
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
