It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
