nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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