If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
