The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
