Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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