see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
