last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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