i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
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