Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize