found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
