you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
