you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
