No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
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