so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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