I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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