I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
