Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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