I only kidnapped one of them. chill
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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