Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
