how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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