I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize