I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
