so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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