Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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