Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
