Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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