your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
