You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
