That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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