with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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