My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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