i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
and she was petting her beer can
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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