I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Life is so much better after having sex.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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