he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Oh god it's open bar.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
