BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
