im having a threesome with these popsicles
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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