It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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