Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Well I just put wine in my tea
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
