Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
