you have to choose: penises or morals?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
